I have been thinking a lot and drawing a lot this past few days. The thing that has occupied me for a while has been this idea of ecstasy. Bernini addresses it in his sculpture of St. Theresa, but I have been wondering about it in my own work.At this stage of my life, I am barely a Christian. I do have a long personal history as a Catholic so I do have access to ideas and models of trasformation, the miraculous and so forth. I can call to mind many stories of the lives of the saints, for example. But in my practice these have not been helpful in determining aesthetic frameworks for this project.
I remember seeing a movie when I was a kid about the Rapture. Essentially, this kid and his mom had a fight and she sent him to the store. While he is there, the Rapture happens, when the faithful are taken bodily from the earth. There is a terrifying, slow motion bottle of milk falling and smashing on the floor. The holder had been "raptured" and there was only a pile of clothes where she had stood. The kid rushes home and finds a pile of clothes in the kitchen where his mom used to be. Needless to say, this scared the shit out of me.
I have been thinking a lot about that while in Savannah. The possibility of being taken away in religious ecstasy. Can that happen now? What does it look like? And really, since I am gay and an abomination in a cosmology that contains the Rapture, I know I will be "left behind." Who gets to go? Who has to stay? And since the sinners create the opportunities for the saints, is there a way that I am helping the faithful get to Heaven? What sort of service can I provide for the faithful? Similar to the service gay men provided to people of faith like Ted Haggard. (FYI if you see the movie Jesus Camp, there is a scene of Pastor Ted exhorting the children to hate gays. It's edifying.)
As I keep making these drawings it is becoming clearer to me.
2 comments:
It sounds like, in this case, as the artist, you need to separate yourself from the religion aspect. sometimes those creations end up even saying alot more!
I love ppl who ponder
I think it is interesting that you are thinking about these things now. I find myself thinking about similar topics just recently ( could it have anything to do with the "New Year" or Global warming, coming recession, the rise of evangelical topics in politics and news, etc. - Calgon, take me away!)
My only thought is that Religion is separate from faith and separate from the spiritual. It is a human invention that attempts to channel and explain these beliefs and emotions we have about what is "greater than ourselves." There is something awe-inspiring (and downright spiritual) about walking into Amiens, Chartes, Quetzalcoatl or any other temple and knowing that this - as a tribute to a higher power - has really been built for everyone on earth. They signify a mediation point between our earthly life and a hereafter. They evoke an affect that attempts to convey ecstasy through sheer human effort - afforded us by the higher power, of course ( I have to admit - sometimes I approach this sentiment when in Grand Central station - that so many people can go about their busy transit lives and not decend into chaos is a miracle - not like Penn station, which is purgatory) Perhaps ecstasy is akin to getting to your train on time. Those left behind just didn't manage their time well or too many other people got in their way.
Steve, you've been "given" great painting talents and I've seen reactions to your paintings - is this ecstasy?
As for the Rapture movie - I remember that one - fright is something completely different than the sensations brought on by walking into Rouen....(pardon pun please)...
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